One Month.

Today marks our first full month of being fully fledged married people. What do I have to say about it?

It's relaxing and full of just being plain happy.

My advice for all couples? Don't get engaged, just get married. :)

Totes Married.

Wow. That is all I can say about our wedding day. From the very start of the ceremony to the very end (and past that), it was perfect, it was fun, and it was EMOTIONAL. I apologize to everybody who told us (which was pretty much every guest we had) that they've never cried so much at a wedding.

Oops.

I can't help but keep on re-living that day. Getting ready in the morning, having my "team" work on me and my mom. Getting to see the brothers come into the room looking all spiffy. Bridesmaids looking all cute. Waiting in the car with Kuya before I made my big entrance. Standing at the end of the aisle staring at Ryan. Ryan crying. Me crying. Everybody crying. Vows. The look on Ryan's face as he slid that ring on my finger. Squeezing Ryan's hand as the minister pronounced us husband and wife. Signing the certificate. AWESOME choir. Walking up the aisle as husband and wife. Tons of picture flashes. Hopping into the limo.

Break. Mini celebration in the limo. WOOO MARRIED LIFE!

Reception. Running around, getting dress fixed in bridal room. Greeting/meeting all the guests. Pictures up and around the corner from the reception site. Introductions. Kisses 3x in a row (thanks guys). MOH speech, BM speech. Cry cry cry. Oh Norms, you ugly crier you. Barely eating, running around talking to guests, taking pictures, super entertaining program. Surprise number from my husband?! *sigh. This is why I love him so much. Speeches from my brothers. Cry cry cry. Speeches from Castro parents. Cry cry cry. Cake cutting. Ryan's speech. Cry cry cry. My speech. Cry cry cry. The end.

I couldn't thank all of the guests enough for their support, presence but most of all love. I haven't felt that much love in a room in a long time. It's true what I said, there's no comparing the two coasts, the best people really do live on both coasts. As much as I've grown up with the best kind of people around, I'm really glad to have met and will live the rest of my life with another group of the best people ever. So a big cheers to that.

Big big thanks to my family who flew all this way (and a few who went bankrupt just to get here) to spend time with me before and after the wedding. I'm sorry I couldn't spend more time with you. I really really miss you guys and I hope you visit me soon. Kuya + Jed, take care of Mom.

And on one last note. Someone asked me which part (aside from the ceremony) was my favourite part, I have to say it was the surprise number of my new husband. As a lot of you know, I don't like receiving compliments, and I don't really think too highly of myself (unlike a few of my friends.. hahah). However, Ryan always compliments me, and he always goes out of his way to make me feel good about myself (despite my protests and blushing out of embarassment). So when he sang that song, it literally is about us, and it couldn't have been more perfect.

So as I sit here and eat my gyozas (that I made!!), I couldn't be more content, and more in love. That couldn't have been a more perfect start to married life.

Final Stretch.

One more week; 7 more days. What can I say? I'm stressed.

On top of getting the apartment ready, running around for the little details, trying to get people to message me back about their itineraries, figure out plans/pick up at the airports, figuring out rental cars, trying to make sure everything goes well AND finish planning a wedding, AND make sure that Ryan doesn't fall apart at the seams... I have to stay healthy. Not happening.

I don't know what it is about having to plan a wedding, but I just get annoyed with everybody. I just want to tell everybody that I'm not here to babysit. Stop asking me stupid questions, stop asking me about things that don't matter to me. What matters to me is this wedding, and I swear if I get asked about accommodations or plans for going out, I am going to hit someone. I don't have the time, patience or energy to think about anything else but the wedding, so please. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. Gosh.


Let's hope I make it to next week... healthy...ish. Wish me luck.

The Big Move.

Hello from New Jersey!

I finally have a moment to breathe (and type) since I get here, so I figured, let's update people on what's been happening.

So one big thing, I moved away from home! As the day drew nearer, it got more bittersweet for me. I noticed the things I took for granted, my family (like how Mom totally babies all her children with cleaning, laundry, cooking etc etc, not to mention the stupidness of my daily existence with my brothers), my friends (and how awesome they are), and just the city itself. Yes, I was born in Winnipeg (Peg city STAND UP! - haha, I know I'm the farthest thing from ghetto there is), but I was raised in Vancouver. I'm a BC/Vancouver girl at heart, and forever I will be a Vancouver girl at heart. This may be my new home, but I'll never forget where I'm from.

The last few days in Vancouver were crazy! Fiankee + brother in law showed up, the engagement party with the most love I've seen in a while, the craziest night with my girls, and finally the funnest day with my family in Victoria (I LOVE SCOOTERING!! WAH!). As the seconds counted down to my departure, the more I felt blessed and lucky to have such great people around me (in spirit and physically).

Departure day. I had such a great (and unexpected) send off, it just got so difficult to leave. I love everybody to called/texted/showed up, I definitely felt the love.

And now I'm here in New Jersey, adjusting, being homesick, wedding planning and tackling the monster, also known as New York - which brings me to a funny/scary story that I will tell at a later time. Ever since I arrived here, it's been non-stop wedding planning. Definitely stressful, but it'll be worth it in the end. (But seriously, do I really look like a person that cares about which SHADE of white the flowers will be? Seriously?)

Which brings me to my last point before I get off this thing and try to pass out (adjusting to East Coast time has been so difficult! I know it's only 3 hours, but it really does make a difference). The huge difference from being long distance to seeing Ryan every day totally makes my day and life. I may see him every day, but I still get excited (and anxious) to see him when he gets home from work. If that doesn't tell me how awesome married life will be, I don't know what else to tell you.

And cue barfing.

Make it count.

Yesterday was my last Sports Fest for church. As I stood there and took it all in, it finally hit me that I was leaving. I obviously cried, and I obviously got other people to cry too. What can I say, I'm a crying machine nowadays.

I have 2 more weeks at home, let's make it count.

In other news, 10 more days until I get to see Ryan. It's been a very long 2.5 months since I've last seen him. I may just knock him over with enthusiasm when I see him at the airport. Should I apologize in advance? Naaahh.

Progress.

8 more weeks to go! Here's just a quick update on what's happening...

1. 3/5 bridesmaids/maid of honour dresses are complete, ordered and sized! 3/5 shoes are complete too!
2. Honeymoon completely booked. HAWAI HERE WE COME! My dream honeymoon really is happening! :p
3. Invitations = ORDERED! To be mailed out/handed out in the next two weeks. No RSVP, NO SEAT.
4. Two weeks notice resignation letter written! TWO MORE WEEKS SUCKAS.
5. 4 weeks til the big move! 2 weeks until my yard sale! Hoping for money and items gone!
6. Meetings with florists are booked, my first week in NJ is going to be BUSY.

And my mosssst favourite:
7. As of today, 18 lbs lost! I still have more to go, but for 3 weeks, that's pretty good! Feeling good, looking good.. all thanks to Ryan's encouragement. Not to mention my own motivation to look rocking in the wedding dress and of course hawaii bikini times!

To be honest, I always try dieting and it only lasts a week, exercising as well, but this time, Ryan keeps pushing me to do what makes me feel good, and sure I may die everyday (the Insanity workout is NO JOKE), but it makes me feel really good about myself. Even when Ryan says that he loves me the way I am, I still want to be better. For me, for us. Please don't barf, I'm running on 3 hours of sleep, gushy moments will happen. :p

Bucket List

Since I only have about a month left until I leave, I want to be able to do all of the following before I do so.
I need to enjoy Vancouver while I can. =(

1. Watch a show at Bard on the Beach.
2. PNE/Playland
3. Canoe/kayak at Burnaby Lake
4. Granville Island
5. Grouse Grind
6. Bike ride around Stanley Park
7. Victoria
8. Beach volleyball on any of the beaches
9. Ambleside Park
10. Fireworks

I'm sure there's more, and I'll keep adding/crossing off things here.

Let's get to it!

5 weeks.

5 more weeks til I get outta here. I'm freakin' excited.

The next few weeks are going to be awesome. Thanksgiving, Anni GEM, Edmonton, Engagement Party, last minute hang outs with friends, and Victoria with the fam. Also, not to mention that I FINALLY get to see Ryan in a month. UGH, the wait is killing me.

Let's get on with it!


PS. Many thanks to Alexis, Annie & Missy. Your advice is greatly appreciated! :)

Fashionista.

First of all, special thanks to Annie! Those blogs are awesome. I love you already, and I haven't met you yet. :p

Secondly, I want to talk about this big move to NJ. This is totally unrelated to the wedding and kind of not related to moving, but one of the coolest things about moving over there is that I get to be fashionable! Woo! Sometimes it's hard to find good cheap items here in Vancouver. A lot of the local stuff is super expensive, and everything else is overly priced/taxed. A lot of my close friends usually cross the border to grab steals and cute items (and not to mention the cute stores that only USA has). Crossing the border I will have to do no longer! Target, uniqlo, top shop and whatever else, HERE I COME.
As estatic as I am, I doubt Ryan would be happy with me spending all of his money. Though, what's his is mine, right? Just kidding.

Speaking of which, does anyone have online suggestions to cute but CHEAP clothing websites? ... and also thanks again to Annie for Gilt Groupe!! (More and more reasons to love you girl!)

Interior Decorating.

So I have been looking at websites for a while, and I'm just wondering if any of you know of house decorating blogs? Ryan showed me the awesomeness of RSS feeds and google reader. (Yes I know, I'm so waaaay behind on times)

So another phase of wedding planning? HONEYMOON PLANNING. How friggen awesome is Hawaii? I'm so excited to just lay down on the beach, relax in hammocks and ride around in vespas in and around the island. I can't wait to go back home all burnt toast. Woo.

Hrm.

I am officially tired.

Who wants to take a mini vacation with me?

Less than 2.

...months until I'm out of here.

Despite my deep deep sadness that I'll be leaving my family, I won't be having my friends around, and the familiarity of Vancouver.. I have to say that I'm freaking excited to get the eff outta here.

For starters, after the wedding, I won't EVER have to look at theknot.com's checklist again, I won't have to see another flashing alarm clock telling me that an item is due, I don't have to work two jobs, and lastly.... I don't have to stay up late crying because I miss Ryan.

Oh, and after I move, I'm no longer going to be the people pleaser Mae, I'm going to take after Ryan and just hate on everybody.
Haha, just kidding.
Sorta.

Dumb questions, outrageous requests and trying to not stress out is actually killing me little by little. Maybe I'm being dramatic now, but people are starting to comment on how tired I am. Not that I already know that I am tired.

I just have to say that I'm looking forward for a little peace and quiet, and to hang out with Vic. I miss Vic. (The Castro's doggie)

R is for Registry.

Whooooo, my favourite thing about this wedding. GIFTS! (Just kidding)
We're finally looking at the registries, and I must say.. I'm as excited as a dog waiting for the owners to come home. I'm so ready to pounce and claw at this thing.

.. figuratively speaking of course.

So I sit here, and I wonder what kind of theme our future home will be, will it be eclectic, kind of an Alice in Wonderland theme, or will it all match and look all pretty? Hahah.. I wish. What I do know is that both Ryan and I have the same kind of style. We are both currently rocking the pigsty look for our bedrooms at home. That will most likely be the theme for our future home...

Anyway, with all of this going on, I've got to say.. I'm quite excited to get on with the wedding and play house for real with Ryan. I can already imagine it, hospital visit after hospital visit because he tries to eat whatever I try to cook. Poor guy.

Hectic-ism. (Random blog to just type and let out the stress)

2 months until I move.
3 months until we get married.
No time to do anything productive.

... or at least that's how I feel!
We have big things out of the way... Church time, venue, the guest list, immigration, attire (his and mine :p), bridal party, sponsors, engagement party, tickets (one way tickets included).. but it seems like a million other things need to be done in a short amount of time. Well, that's what theknot.com's checklist is blinking at me with... those little alarm clocks scare me a little (a lot).

Next cool thing on the checklist, invitations. We're going to be ordering them in the next few days, and it's making this thing more real. I think I say that a lot, but it's true. Everything is slowly (but surely, I hope) coming together, and with the ordering of the invitations, save the dates are going to be emailed out. *sigh of relief*

On to the next thing, one way tickets. Can you say BIG DEAL? BIG DEAL!
It's official people, I'm outta here on August 17, 2010 at 12:40pm. Who wants to come to the airport to watch me go? (Only to fly out a month later to see me again?)
And on the other side, who will be at EWR at 9:00pm to welcome me to my new home?
And who also wants to hear how I totally yelled at everyone at work the day I quit?
(It's going to happen, and I might want someone to videotape it)

Oh, and we are starting to put things in our registries!
... can I list a car on one of those?

Double Digits.

Wow, our wedding is officially now in the double digit range for the countdown.

Phase 3 - Freak out mode starts now.

PS. The biggest reason why I'm looking forward to leaving? 1. Quitting this job. 2. Sending said job place a F*** You cake (thank you Aeson for the suggestion) 3. Sending one of the clients a F*** You cake. 4. This stupid rain. And 5. Not having to pretend I like people anymore. Just kidding. Not really.

PPS. Just two more months, let's make it HAPPEN.

Check!

Another huge thing off of our list. One step closer to finishing everything, and another phase in wedding planning. Let's do this!

For the past few days, Ryan and I have been looking at tickets, his for coming here for the engagement party + picking me up, and mine for that one way ticket. At first I was really scared, and a little nervous.. a one way ticket is a big deal.

But now, I'm kind of really excited. Moving, getting married, new friends, it's definitely going to be an adventure. I'm ready to move forward and just get on with it. Of course I'll miss my family, friends etc, but I'm ready to just go and do new things and just go.

(And of course I'll burn a few bridges on the way out :p Just kidding.. sort of..)

Assumptions

Okay, I really have to ask. Why do people assume they're invited to your wedding, when 1. they're really old and I don't even know their name, 2. they're friends with my mom but not me, and 3. they have relatives in the area, so they assume they're invited?

Where did all the tact go? Where?!

Random Acts of Kindness

Someone offered to help me out with my wedding planning, and it wasn't someone I typically thought would help. I haven't hung out with her in a long time, and we'd only really see each other at church (though, she always makes the effort to come upstairs to say hello), but yet she's really involved with trying to help a stressed out girl out. Especially when it comes to flowers... that I have no idea about.

Goes to show who's totally there for you in times of need. Thanks CA, much love. :)

Doing work.

Getting stuff done, booking certain services, contacting the right people.
I say we're getting our asses into shape for a pretty cool wedding. Woo.


PS. For all of you people flying over to Jersey/New York, I'm waiting for a few emails to come back for some discounts! Stay tuned people, stay tuned!

Short but sweet.

This was one CRAAAAZY weekend. A brunch wedding (CONGRATS MY LOVES ADONNA & ALDRICK!), a surprise birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEGANSKI!), and a random "family" dinner at a very creepy house (YAY FOR AUSSIES AND AMERICANS AND BC PEOPLE). And finally.. a sad goodbye. =(

Yesterday, I said goodbye to Ryan one last time. This was his last visit before he picks me up in August.
For all of you LDR's out there, it always seems that weekend trips are always such a tease, yeah? You start getting used to having your loved one there, and then BAM, they have to go. As I was standing there at the entrance of the cross-over point in the airport, not only was I crying my eyes out and clawing at Ryan, (yes I know, I am a very attractive person)I had a little tiny tiny tiny smile on my face, knowing that I don't ever have to do that ever again.


Thank freaking goodness. I think my eyes could never forgive me for the puffiness they had to endure over the last 2 years. If I was rich and had a beautician, I think I would have had a black eye from her. She would have thrown all the creams and makeup at me and said, "EFF YOU, you don't even care!" and then would have punched me in the face.
... I don't even know where that came from. I think I may still be sleeping.. I know that I am definitely sleep deprived.

Anyway, what was I driving at? Oh yeah. No more goodbyes. Woo.

Lists

When I logged into theknot.com today, I checked the countdown. 122 days?!
Crap. 22 days until it hits the 100 mark.

Then, I looked into things done on the checklist. 57 completed (YAY), 122 still left undone.
WHAT THE HECK? 122 things left to do!?!?

I am so done. We are so done.
We do have 4 more months left, eloping is still an option..

On To The Next One

Thing's I've managed to do as the day gets closer:

- Finally locked down a venue.
- Found our videographer.
- Pretty sure I found our DJ
- Found and bought my suit! (more on that later)
- Almost finalized our Save The Date
- Invitation design pretty much set
- Decided on our favors for the guests
- Gifts for the sponsors
- Signing up for wedding registries. (I'm most excited for the Amazon one)

Yes really only a handful of things on a never ending list of things that need to get done, but we're getting there I think..

Best Present Ever.

Okay, so let's be honest here. Girls LOVE to be spoiled, and I admit, I do love getting spoiled by Ryan. I probably don't take advantage of it as much as other girls do (AHEMMMMMMM...), and I know that I complain to Ryan about his spending on me (which I know he hates), but I do love it.

What triggered this post? I was having lunch with a friend, and she was talking about all of these presents she gets from her boyfriend, and these are expensiiiiiiive gifts. Designer bags, designer sunglasses designer bouguasie stuff.. and then she asks me what my favourite present from Ryan was. You know what I said?
MILK TEA.

When I arrived in NJ on my last trip, Ryan handed me a bottled milk tea drink.
He got me that drink when he was in Mitsuwa (a Japanese supermarket) the week before, and he knows that I love that particular drink. Yes, Ryan may give me nice things, but the best gift he can ever give me is his heart. I occupy his mind, and that's the greatest thing.

And yes, this is a barf blog, I still taste it in my mouth. (That's what she said)

Paranoid.

Ever have a feeling like you're forgetting something? That's the feeling I have. Since I'm pretty much done planning my pre-move things, it's the actual wedding planning I have to deal with. I'd like to think that we have the big things out of the way and booked, but for some reason, I have a nagging feeling at the back of my head that I forgot SOMETHING. So here I go, looking through all of my checklists, going through my notebook with all my wedding notes, going through all the receipts that I've had for the wedding, and you know what I realized?

I forgot to purchase my veil.
MY VEIL. Here I thought I didn't pay for my make up, or flowers, or my dress or something big and huge!
.... somebody just shoot me now. Put me out of my unorganized misery.


...please.

Hairy Situation

So, I don't really know what I'm doing with my hair. I want it to be up and romantic, but not too dramatic. I also have a thing with playing with my bangs, so I'd rather my hair be off my face so I don't fiddle with it. I don't like too structured looks and I don't like the look of your hair looking like it was soaked in gel.

Maybe I should just tie my hair up as if I'm about to play volleyball and call it a day?

Mommy.

Happy Mothers Day to my mommy, Ryan's mommy and all mommies out there.

lots of love.




PS. Planning a wedding in 3 months isn't as stressful as I thought it would be.
...unless I'm doing this wrong.

It's On.

Approval, check. Checklist, check.
We're getting married bitzes.

Hopefully I don't kill Ryan over the guestlist.

Too much advice.

You know what I want to say to people who ALWAYS say the grass is greener on the other side (as if that is the golden peice of advice they can give on marriage)?

Then water your lawn BITZ.




PS. If you think I'm funny, you gotta meet this guy. >> As Exciting As An Instruction Manual

Bridezilla?

There are bridezillas, there are brides, there are anti-brides, and there is me. There is just no way to put me in a category. I am no where near a bridezilla; I don't care what colour the napkins are, and I honestly don't care if my makeup will be a smokey eye, or a slightly smokey eye. I don't care if my band has diamonds or not, as long as I get to match with Ryan. And I honestly don't care if the groomsmen's ties match anything of the bridesmaids. I also can't be put in the brides category; I'm unorganized and I can't be bothered with little tiny details. I haven't dreamed of my wedding since I was young, it was more about dreaming about the dream guy. Lastly, I can't be put into the anti-bride category; I LIKE the idea of being a bride. Planning all this is stressful, yes, but I kind of enjoy it.

So where does that leave me? I would definitely say I am a wife. Yes, our wedding day is going to be the biggest day of our lives, but it's still just one day, yes? As much as I love this whole process, and as much as I look forward to seeing the venue, seeing my family cry (yes, Kuya included), seeing my girls all decked out, and seeing Ryan in that suit (and not to mention wearing my amaaaaaaazing dress) and crying all over the place as we say our vows, I still look forward to after the wedding. It's the married part that I'm going to love. Being grumpy as Ryan gets ready for work (because hello, I'm sleeping on for as long as I can!), trying to avoid doing any kind of house chore possible, hogging whatever game console we'll own, and attempting to cook edible food. That'll be the fun part.. watching Ryan attempting to survive life with me.

Pimpley.

Just a note, the more stressed out I am, the more my skin starts to break out. And if you've seen me lately, it's obvious that I'm stressed out. So I have one question to ask... for my engagement party/bridal shower/wedding present.. can I get proactiv? Bahahahahaha... =(

Busy busy busy...

On top of having to try to pre-plan a wedding that's happening in less than 5 months, and to put together things needed (and paid for) for my visa, AND trying to save money, I'm starting to really miss my friends. The last couple of weeks have been kind of crazy, going to the doctor all the time, filling out sheets, shutting myself in my room to research wedding stuff.. it's been a long while since I've spent some quality time with my friends (or seen the sun).

I only have 4 months left here in Vancouver, and I'm spending all my time alone. How un-awesome is that? I don't really know how to balance wedding planning and all that junk and friends and family.. and all of this pre-planning is starting to get to me. Imagine, to remember to do anything I have to write it down somewhere? Anything basic, like to call someone back, I totally forget because my mind is occupied with wedding stuff. SERIOUSLY.

Because I'm so busy, I'm having friend withdrawals. It's kind of sad that I'm already homesick, but I haven't even left yet. I'm just asking, when can I have a break and finally just breathe normally again? Because it feels like I have allergies and I live in a house of pollen. I cannot breathe.

Veil, schmeil.

I was hanging out with a good friend of mine yesterday, (after a full packed day schedule
*faint*) and she also happens to be getting married very soon. We were going over costs of weddings and where you can cut corners. I was pretty surprised at what she came up with, but totally going to go through that route as well. At first I wanted a veil with scattered rhinestones, but after looking at pictures online of brides with veils like that, no thanks. It looks like they had insects on them! I want a veil, not a bug catcher. Hence, I will be looking on eBay. Wish me luck!

In other news, the hype of the wedding is starting to hit me. Is that why I always need to go to the washroom? haha just kidding... sort of.

Ring Shopping

One of the things Mae and I did during her last visit was look at wedding bands. It took all of 15 minutes well at least for me. haha. On another note, I highly suggest visiting the Tiffany's location on Wall Street. It's definitely a far less harrowing experience than the one on 5th Avenue; less gawkers/tourists. Jus sayin.

Bakit Why?

In relation to Annie&Mike's blog, people can be such debbie downers. For the most part, people have gone above and beyond the definition of supportive, but then there are others who seem to have a constant thorn stuck in their sides. I was chatting with a close friend the other night about this, if you get married for the right reasons, wedding bliss is a reality for you. It just sucks that some people can't stand the fact that other couples are happy. How sad.

In other news, 5 months to go! I know time will whizz by fast, so we're starting to clamp down on the planning... which means headaches, stress and high blood pressure will soon after follow.

...wait. Do I feel a headache coming on?

Invitations anyone?

We are currently looking for designs for our invitations for the wedding. A lot of people have a lot of cool designs and ideas for invitations and they're all making a statement. At the end of everything, it basically is a piece of paper stating the date and information of the wedding. Since Ryan and I are pretty laid back, maybe just writing down that information on post it notes and passing it along will make a pretty strong statement, no?

Hey guess what?

We have a date. :)




.... what you thought I was going to post it here? Naaaaaaaaaahhh.

Not goodbye, just see you later.

As I sit here at Ryan's computer, just finished up packing, a now familiar feeling creeps up my stomach. Dread. I not so secretly count down the hours, the minutes, the seconds until I have to say goodbye to NJ/NY again. People say it gets easier over time, but I really do think it just gets worse and worse. Instead of crying at the airport, I cry a few hours before the flight, AND the night before my flight. It gets harder and harder for me to leave. As you all know, Ryan isn't a very outwardly emotional person (unless it's hating on someone), but that last moment as I walk away, the look on his face shows me that it's just as bad for him as it is for me. Long distance is no joke people.

Anyway, before I start bawling as I type, some good news wedding planning wise! We pretty much have a venue set, we picked our date, we locked down the florist, and we picked out wedding bands, for people who are pretty laid back, I gotta say that we pushed through this trip. GO US.

We also celebrated Ryan's birthday over the weekend. He's 30 now. Old. I can already see his rage face as he reads this. Hehe. GO ME.

Ok, gotta get back to being sad about leaving. I'll see y'all on the other side! Thanks for all the hospitality and love from all the NJ/NY peoples! Including all the ones that I haven't met yet! (That includes you Annie :p)

PS. I already miss Ryan and he's right here. =(

connecting dots

Last weekend I observed one and a half weddings in two days.
Congrats to Annie + Mikey, and Jo + Vin (who actually were having their American reception, in addition to their wedding in Hong Kong which I was honored to be a part of back in October.)

When you're in the middle of planning your own wedding, attending other weddings gives you another level of understanding and appreciation to what people go through to get to that point. On top of that, you find yourself catching up with other couples who are also in the middle of planning their weddings.
Having these discussions is great in a way because at least for me, I learn something new, or something gets brought up that I hadn't thought about. Sure, the internet is great for research but nothing beats hearing how other guys and gals are handling their planning. For lack of a better term, they feel my "pain". But its not really pain, its just something that can be pretty overwhelming, but all the words of encouragement and tips we get, from everywhere, including here, means and helps us alot.

4 day weekend.

Today is day one of the super long weekend (YAY for bunnies and eggs!) and day two of anorexia. I realize one thing about this anorexia thing.. it's not happening. I eat whatever I want (within discretion of course, label reading is my second favourite hobby), so I guess I'll have to settle with good ol' exercise. If you see my face now, I am disliking this option.

Ryan arranged pictures to be taken next Saturday! I told him no kissing pictures and he agreed. Maybe this will be a barf free photo session? :p Shopping on Friday for cute outfits, any suggestions?

Anyway, I've been looking at options for my bridesmaids and I think I have decided. They are going to look great!! Well not TOO great or I'll have to secretly talk to the make up person and sabotage their make up. What?? I have to stand out, don't I? :p

Contemplating.

What is it that I am contemplating? Anorexia. I kid you not. Every time I look in the mirror, not only do I feel this sinking feeling in my stomach, I also want to barf at the sight of me. Maybe bulemia would be a better route.. Every time I think about that wedding dress (which is pretty frequently through the day, I think I have created a kind of relationship with that dress that isn't healthy in any way, shape or form..) a creeping sort of anxiety builds up inside. I know it's unhealthy, but I think about losing weight all the time, even as I eat this super fattening burger. Just kidding. About the burger part. Also, living in the same house as TJ and Jed isn't very good on my eating habits. They are the things nutritionists nightmares are made out of. If I avoid food completely, their unhealthy ways wouldn't rub off on me, yes? I'm also trying to start this P90X thing, but it also doesn't help that those two sleep in the living room (where it's the only place where you can do any kind of work out routine). I think TJ needs to go back to Seattle and take Jed with him. Just kidding (not really, they really do need to go.. for my sanity and weight control)!

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, anorexia is the best option for me. Wish me luck!

Starting from scratch.

Yay, another blog about the guestlist. Guestlist guestlist guestlist. You think by now we'd have a cement one in, but we are faaaaaaaaaaaar from it, I am completely far from it. You see, I wrote a rough one about a month ago, and to be honest, I regret writing it. I wrote it based on emotions alone, and a lot of the people on this list were written down out of guilt or I couldn't say no to their face when I was asked point blank. (And who the EFF would ask point blank, unless you're a fob? I'm not condoning fobs, I love fobs! Well, I'm not IN love with them, Ryan's obviously not a fob, but I think I should stop now before I get my a$$ kicked, but you know what I mean) The point of a wedding is to celebrate two people who are joining their lives together, not to bring people who you're kind of close with but not really to a big party so they can have fun. No. This is why I am re-writing my guest list, and the people making the cut are the people I cannot live without. Not the people who suck up to me just so they can go to my wedding and New York. Not the people who have been completely fake or have lied to my face numerous times. Definitely not the people who weren't present when I had to face a really sad period of time with my family. If you assume that you're invited, think again. This guestlist is being re-worked and re-vamped. As of now, the only ones invited on my list are family and the bridal party. Names will be added after I think about how real you are.

If I was okay without you in the past few months without messaging/calling/letting you know that I miss you, you sure as hell won't be missed during the big day. I'm not afraid to offend anyone from here, heck, I'm out of here in 4ish months, so EFF YOU. <3

PS. Florence Cajiuat, this is not about you. Really flo? REALLY.
PPS. I think it's lame that people all of a sudden are my friends because I'm getting married, I also think it's lame to suck up to me because I'm getting married.
PPPS. I also think it's lame that I have to write a blog about it, but HEY, it happens apparently. Don't worry, the next blogs are going to be back to my normal self.. after I slash names off of my old guestlist. :)

Date Stamp

So, like, when is your wedding?

I must have heard 100 different versions of this question in the past little while. And trust me, if I had the answer, you wouldn't have to ask me. I get people left and right asking me, pressuring me and making sure I know that it's so suuuuper important that they know the date so they can book time off/let instructors know/ask parents permission/make budget calendars/book tickets already, etc etc. Trust me, I'm not being resentful, I'm happy to know that people are really wanting to be there for Ryan and I, but at the same time, it doesn't help that on top of dealing with my citizenship, wedding plans and my usual stressful life, I have to deal with everybody and their questions. We would set one if we could, but our hands really are tied.

Out of all the people wondering when the wedding is in this whole entire world, I can honestly say that the most worried people about the date are Ryan and I.


PS. Because I am super stressed, all questions can be re-directed to Ms. Kathrina Alvarez. I'm going to start call forwarding all phone calls and emails to her cellphone. THANKYOUTRINAYOU'RETHEBESTMOHEVER.

PPS. I'm going to start keeping a bag of rocks in my bag, and if I see someone walking towards me with a purposeful stride and a determined look in their eyes, I'm going to start throwing rocks at them.

Empire State of Mind

It seems like there are people who are wanting to go to the wedding just so they can go to New York. That's no reason to go to a wedding, right? CUT. NEXT.

In other frustrations (haha), why are wedding bands so freaking expensive? Especially at Tiffany? UGH, arm and a leg. ARM AND A LEG. I guess it'll have to be my right arm. :p

Wedding planning is going alright, we have options for all of the plans, so all we need to do is book. C'mon wedding date, that's all we need..

Bridesmaids? Bleh, how come I spend so many hours looking for dresses that I'll never wear? And yet I haven't found anything yet. Siiiiighhh...

And one last thing on my mind, how the heck am I going to bring all of my crap from here to there? I stand in the middle of my room and I feel like crying sometimes.

Of Doves & Cookies

Last January, on my way back home from the Philippines I stopped over in Tokyo for a couple days. I met up with a friend of mine who used to live in NYC and she ended up giving me what seems to be Mae and I's first engagement/wedding gift:


ahhh doves I get it..


Cookies! (don't mind the KitKats..although those are good also)
So cute!

I waited til I saw Mae again so we both could try them. Tasty!

Thanks again Yuko!

Emo No More.

Sunshiney out and a whole bunch more stuff checked off my list, I can't be emo anymore.

Since I'm wearing flats (hell no am I wearing heels all day and all night!), the question is... to colour or not to colour? I'm thinking purple peep toe flats. What y'all think?

The emo-ness of this blog is uncharacteristic.

** Please disregard all of the emo-ness of this blog, it's been 24 hours since he left and the little phase I go through every time hasn't worn off yet. **

Alicia Keys - Love is a Disease. This is my jaaaaaam.

Seriously.
The way I feel is like how a little kid has their candy taken away. And trust me, this kid is super fat and loves candy. Now, fast forward 20 years, and instead of candy, it's my fiance that's taken away. THAT is the kind of crappy I'm feeling. That kid LOVES candy.

The reason why I know I want to marry this guy, other than the fact that he has the coolest dog in the world (yeah, my priorities ARE in the right places) is because of the feeling when we get to the airport and we have to say bye. That feeling of not being able to live life properly without the other one there. My heart falls to my knees as he gives me one last hug, as he tries to say the right words to make me feel better, yet it just makes me feel worse because I won't be hearing that voice anymore, and I'm trying to soak up the sight of him before he walks away. My heart finally hits the floor as he walks away... and turns for one last look, one last glance. It's that look that kills me.

I'm going to go eat some candy now.

9 and a little bit more hours...

Until Ryan finally arrives in Vancouver. It's been a few months since I last saw him and I'm pretty excited.

Unless that is off setted by the rising feeling of doom creeping up my stomach. Why? This is the first visit after we got engaged, and this will be the first time we will seriously sit down and have a real full conversation about wedding planning. Yikes.

I wonder if he'll be down for eloping.

To hyphenate or not to hyphenate?

That is the question.

Lawson-Castro? Or Castro?

Groomsmen

For the groomsmen, I don't feel I have half as much of a problem. They're all pretty laid back, so my main concern is just getting them to show up for fittings. haha. I think we're definitely buying suits out right rather than renting tuxes. Suits in general have become so cheap from a wide variety of sources that it just makes more sense to me. Even if you factor in the price of tailoring, its still not bad at all.

also..I never knew J.Crew had an entire Wedding Section ?

Bridesmaids

If someone can show me the right direction to do this, I'd super appreciate it. Doesn't help that all of my bridesmaids have 7438190783912689 different styles and trying to accommodate them all isn't going to be very easy. Maybe I can make our wedding rainbow coloured so that they can wear whatever they want. Hmmm...

*Sigh of relief

This may not be related to wedding planning directly, but I am sure glad that the Olympics are over. Since Ryan is American and I am Canadian, and I have enough Canadian pride for the whole nation, you can only imagine how strained the last two weeks have been... especially the lead up to the Gold hockey game this afternoon. Now instead of trash talking each others countries, we can go back to talking about what's important.. which look better on black, anemones or roses?


Though, I gotta say, gold does look better on red than blue. :p What? I just had to!

On going...

Last night as Mae and were discussing details about our upcoming wedding, she commented about how involved I am with the planning process. I guess in some way its inevitable as the wedding will be here in Jersey as opposed to Vancouver, so I can see alot of the venues and vendors up close etc. Conventional wisdom seems to say that the guy just usually steps back and lets the girl take the reigns of everything and he just goes yeah thats great whatever you want. For us its pretty important that it is what WE want.

Example: today while shopping I see a tie that may or may not be a good idea for our groomsmen. it has the right colors, etc. Take a pic, send it off to Mae, good call on the colors, but the pattern, not so much we both eventually come to conclude.

In Other News

As much as Mae has been on a search for her dress, I've been searching for something that would hopefully complement her well. I'm fairly certain I'm not going with an off the hanger tux rental, and have been doing homework of my own. A random outside favorite right now would be a suit from Band Of Outsiders:



BUT we'll see ;)

tbc

Say Yes to the Dress.

After months of taking clothes off and putting dresses on, 1000 terminology words learned and forgotten, and many many nightmares later, I have purchased my wedding dress.

It's true what they say, mothers cry, people stop talking and you feel like the most beautiful person in the whole world... but they didn't mention the need to lose half of your body weight as you look at yourself in the mirror.

As good as it feels to have something ticked off of the wedding to-do list, I am not looking forward to counting calories and eating those green little things. How much is liposuction anyways?

Just breathe.

Trina and I went to dinner/bubble tea to discuss wedding planning and to see what has to be done and when.


I think I'm going to hyperventilate soon. Did I even spell that right?

Maybe you can barf just a little bit now too..

Super super feelings mode, but I just have to say. Ryan has got to be one of the most supportive people I have ever met, I called him all sad today and he made me feel a billion jillion times better, and he even followed up with a few more messages that would make all you girls jealous. I'm so lucky to be marrying this guy.

The end.